Halloween Horror

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Dear Kaz,

Every year I host a Halloween party for my teenage kids, and it ends up being an absolute headache!

Jill, a widow who lives around the corner always turns up in a tiny outfit that’s totally inappropriate in front of the children! Then she gets drunk and latches onto my husband! She’s 59, not a teenager and should know better! We are 41 and 43 and we both laugh about it afterwards!

This year she wants to bring her nephew, who is loud and obnoxious! She’s suggesting he might be a suitable match for my eldest daughter Jenny. Forget scary monsters and demonic, grinning pumpkins – this is far worse a nightmare!

I want to get into the spirit of things and throw a party everyone will enjoy, but I don’t want this turning into a horror movie! How can I keep the peace and keep everyone happy?

Carla, 41, Warminster

Dear Carla,

You can look at this situation a couple of different ways. You could avoid the headache of having a big party and avoid hurting anyone’s feelings, by gently explaining that you intend to keep invites strictly to family members and close friends this year. This way you are not making it personal.

The second option is to have a quiet word in Jill’s ear. If she is a good friend of yours, perhaps invite her over for coffee first, rather than turning up on her doorstep with your marching orders. Suggest you are going for a bit more of a family-themed party this year, as you have teenagers of an impressionable age.

I would hazard a guess that Jill is a little lonely. 59 is very young to be a widow. Have you considered that she feels relaxed with your family, and Halloween is a time to let her hair down? I’m not suggesting that her behaviour is acceptable, but perhaps she’s in need of a good friend to give her guidance and support her during her difficult times. The question is, deep down, do you feel as if you can be that friend to her or not?

If you decide to opt for the latter option, you need to put some boundaries in place and let her know it makes the family uncomfortable when she flirts with your husband. No doubt, it’s harmless fun and she’s just enjoying a bit of attention, but unless you say something she will assume that her behaviour is acceptable.

Perhaps you could invite a couple of nice gentlemen to introduce Jill to? I doubt a 59-year-old widow is getting many invites to parties. You never know, with a little Halloween magic in the air it could lead to romance! In the least, it will take her focus away from your husband.

Her efforts to try and set up her nephew and your daughter may be a way for her to feel closer to your family. Make her aware that you don’t feel it’s a suitable match, but don’t make it personal. No one wants to hear bad things about their family members.

Have a spooktacular time and don’t sweat the small stuff!

Head over to www.uk-fetish.co.uk to read more of Mistress Kaz’s articles about fetish. Follow her on Twitter @KazBxx and don’t forget to e-mail your problems to agony@dailysport.co.uk

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