Should I Expose My Escort Sister On Christmas Day?


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Dear Kaz,

My sister has just admitted to me that she’s an escort and I’m in two minds about what to do.

Until last week, I thought she had a successful job in marketing, but after a couple of drinks one evening she admitted that the company liquidated a year ago and she started working as an escort to pay the bills.

I don’t know if she has a pimp or a drug addict but she seems healthy.

We are having a family get together on Christmas day, and I’m wondering if I should break the news to my parents then or after Christmas. My sister will probably get upset but I feel they should know. She has always been the golden child and comes around with flashy gifts. Shouldn’t they know what she really does to earn this kind of money?

So, do I break the news at Christmas dinner, or wait until we’ve unwrapped the presents?

John, 26, Greater Manchester

Dear John,

I realise that it must be a great shock to discover your sister’s secret work as an escort, but what on earth do you think you will achieve by breaking her trust on any day of the year let alone Christmas day! You will lose your sister’s trust and you will ruin Christmas for your family. Christmas is a time for giving and supporting one another, not for gossip, drama and conflict.

Put yourself in your sister’s shoes. She lost her job and found a way to survive. It doesn’t mean to say that she has a drug habit or a pimp but if you are concerned, broach the topic sensitively in private and ask her. I’m sure it wasn’t an easy decision for your sister to make, and you should be proud that she chose you to confide in.

I’m detecting a little envy from your golden child reference, indicating that your parents have given preferential treatment to your sister. Whatever failings they may or may not have as parents, you cannot place the blame on your sister. You need to find a way to process and deal with those emotions, that does not make the situation worse.

If you were to expose your sister on Christmas day, you won’t just be hurting your sister, you’ll be hurting your parents too, and it could backfire. Ever heard the term ‘shooting the messenger?’

If anyone tells your parents, it should be your sister, if and when she is ready. The best thing you can do is be a supportive brother and keep your mouth shut.  

In time, you may find that you end up having a much stronger relationship with your sister and parents. 

Do you want to be trusted or despised? The choice is yours. 

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