The Guide Every Fella Needs For Buying Sexy Christmas Gifts!

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Dear Kaz,

My wife has hinted that I should buy her something ‘saucy’ for Christmas but I have no idea what this means! If left to my own devices I’ll probably end up buying some red crotchless undies and spending the whole of Christmas in the doghouse! What the hell do I do? I have a decent budget of around £500, can you advise? I’m losing my mind and feel like I’ll be in the shop on Christmas Eve at closing time, pulling all my hair out at this rate.

Steve, 34, London

Hi Steve,

Are you thinking of buying your wife lingerie, or perhaps some naughty toys for the bedroom? The best thing to do is ask the store assistant for a gift receipt so that your wife can return any gifts that aren’t suitable. Also, make sure you do not remove any of the original tags or packing.

Be rest assured, you are not alone. At this moment in time, there will be thousands of guys across Britain scratching their heads and dreading Christmas eve! Let’s start with lingerie. When your wife is distracted go to her lingerie drawer and note down all her sizes on a piece of paper and take that with you when you go to the store. The last thing you want to do is buy the wrong sizes and cause offence – it’s a whole minefield!

Now you are armed with the useful details, think about what sort of things your wife appreciates. Does she have a hankering for silk or do lacy garments float her boat? Basques and corsets generally look amazing on all shapes and sizes of women, as do sexy, floaty baby doll dresses. Veer away from anything too tacky such as crotchless knickers and peephole bras. They might look great on porn sets but most women don’t enjoy wearing this sort of stuff at home. Is your wife big or small chested? If she has a larger chest, then I would suggest that any Basque or bra you purchase should have underwiring. If you are not sure, simply ask the store assistant to help. They are trained in these kinds of emergencies, and will be able to point you in the right direction!

If you are looking for high-end lingerie, then you won’t go wrong with stores such as Coco de Mer and Agent Provocateur. They are the crème de la crème of jaw-dropping, sensuous bedroom fashion and home to a myriad of silks, satins, laces and delicious fragrances. If you are after extra brownie points, this will most likely make your wife swoon, and she’ll be dying for all the relatives to leave so she can slip into it! Don’t forget to buy some sexy nylons to match whichever sets you purchase. Also if you buy stockings instead up hold-ups, you’ll need to buy a matching suspender belt.

If you are looking to spend a little bit less, but do not want to compromise on quality then Victoria Secrets is a great option. They have a fabulous range of sexy bra sets, slips, teddies and sexy little numbers that will make your temperature soar and your heart skip a beat!

For sex toys, Lelo is undoubtedly one of the leading brands. They are not cheap, but they are quality products. If you are looking for discretion, Lelo offers a fantastic range of vibrators that are practically silent. Perfect for those who have house guests or relatives staying with them, and want to keep noise to a minimum.

Of course, if it’s viable, you might wish to buy your wife a few smaller priced items, then whisk her away for a romantic weekend at a spa or hotel! Picture this, a heavenly couples massage to knead away all the tension, followed by a candlelit champagne dinner. Then head back to the bedroom for a sexy bubble bath…then it’s time to try on all those deliciously sexy garments!

Good luck, I hope it goes well and have a super, saucy Christmas!

If you need help email agony@dailysport.co.uk

 

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