Trouble at work

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2022

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Dear Kaz,

I work in a predominantly male office where many of the employees feel that it’s ok to make sexist jokes, which leave me feeling uncomfortable. I have also been having some ongoing problems with my boss. I started about 3 months ago and to start with he seemed friendly and helpful, if a bit too eager

Then one occasion I wore a skirt to work and he commented that I had a great set of pins and if I wore skirts more often I would probably get a pay rise. This unnerved me but I decided to ignore it.  Then another time he said, “I see you have done you hair for me, what a good girl.” I laughed it off but the situation has got worse. He drops items on the floor and asks me to pick them up then stares at my bottom. Now he has started putting his hands over mine when I’m typing. He stands so close to me, so that he is brushing up against me and makes hints about taking off on spa weekends. It’s got to the point where I’m worried what he will do next and I’m thinking of quitting.

He hasn’t done anything overly obvious yet where I can make a comment back, but I dread going to work every day. Please help me, I’m not sure how much I can take.

Anna, 20, London

Dear Anna,

Sexual harassment doesn’t need to be obvious for you to take control and ensure it never happens again. Your boss is pushing your limits and seeing what he can get away with. Patronising comments such as ‘good girl’ are sexist and inappropriate. Also, touching you without your permission is completely out of order and not something that should ever happen in the work place, all though sadly it does.

You have a couple of options available. You could speak to your boss and explain that you feel he invades your personal space. This may be enough to make him re-think his actions or it may not. When he next touches you, you could jump up startled, in an exaggerated manner and say, “I really don’t like people invading my personal space.” Your reaction may be enough to nip this in the bud.

Also, try speaking to other colleagues that you trust about this matter.

Ultimately, my advice would be to take a visit to your HR department, explain what’s happening and seek their advice and help. Sexual harassment at work is taken very seriously. When you speak HR, I would also mention the sexist attitudes of your fellow employees. If they have gotten away with this behaviour for a long time, they may believe that it is ok to make sexist jokes in the office, which it certainly isn’t. Perhaps your office could do with a refresher course on acceptable conduct within the work place. Suggest this to your HR department and they should be able to help.

You might also find the following links useful:

https://www.summittraining.co.uk/find-a-training-course/organisational-training-courses/bullying-harassment-training-policy/?gclid=CjwKCAjw_b3cBRByEiwAdG8WqvQymNusyDzN-pbLfAOd8CT1V3ZnR2xdJsJKzXLoYLbTdzzq_ezuehoCWV8QAvD_BwE

http://www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=6078

Please don’t suffer in silence or be forced to give up your job. Your boss is the one who is being unprofessional and it’s his behaviour that needs to be modified.

Best of luck.

Head over to www.uk-fetish.co.uk to read more of Mistress Kaz’s articles about fetish. Follow her on Twitter @KazBxx and don’t forget to e-mail your problems to [email protected]

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