A Hypothetical Hard-On


I honestly don’t know how I get myself into these situations, but they’re what makes life exciting. Recently I found myself deep in conversation with a handful of strangers whilst standing in a queue. Making polite conversation about the weather we somehow progressed onto the subject of pain relief whilst giving birth, which then bizarrely led onto talk of viagra – a perfectly acceptable thing to talk about in a queue!

I have no experience of viagra, have never seen it, taken it nor had a partner who uses it so the concept is pretty new to me but I get the jist of how it works – pop a pill and pump away all day. Fascinatingly I was informed that viagra is now legal in the UK and can be obtained by a doctors prescription and dispensed on a highstreet pharmacy. 

Talk then turned to how men love taking viagra – whether they need to or not. It made me question if girls dangerously have their drinks spiked in clubs would women ever get their own back and spike guys with harmless viagra. Now that viagra is legal in the UK it’s far more easily obtainable and its mild symptoms include headache, flushing, upset stomach, blurred vision, runny nose, back pain, muscle pain and nausea.

Of course, this hypothetical conversation then addressed the fact I’ll be spending the weekend with my boyfriends family and how hilarious it would be if he were to have an uncontrollable boner the entire time for seemingly no reason. After a quick google I discovered the effects of viagra can last up to 6hrs in duration, perfect for spending lunch and dinner with loved ones!

I was then told that viagra has a taste that would need to be disguised, as the blue tablet can be crushed up and added to a non-clear drink. All of a sudden our jovial conversation turned into a full on master plan to arouse my boyfriend at the most inappropriate time which had us in fits of giggles.

I can’t say I’ve ever had such a conversation with complete strangers before, but I questioned whether such behaviour would be legal first of all, acceptable to do to my partner and finally if he would see the funny side of it or be mortally offended. So what better way to find out than to create a hypothetical opinion poll on Instagram!? 

Posting to my stories I posed two questions to my friends and followers: “Would you mind if your partner put viagra in your drink?” and “would you find it funny or get annoyed?” The results were rather surprising! Whilst 71% say they wouldn’t be annoyed by it versus the 29% who find it unacceptable, just 54% would find it funny and 46% would be pretty mad about it.

I would just like to stress the fact that you should never spike a persons drink whether it’s a cup of tea with too many sugars or some evil illegal act with sinister intentions. Our conversation was entirely random and hypothetical and I would never put my partner at risk by medicating him without his consent.

But it’s been interesting to see how the public view a deliberately unexpected hard-on sabotaging a formal dinner party and it’s definitely a fun way to pass the time whilst standing in a queue! You really do learn new something everyday…


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