Back to business after Valentine’s Day


With Valentines Day swiftly behind us it’s now back to business for everyday life. Perhaps it’s not the most sensitive time to decide to give my puppy the snip, but hey, at least it’s not on the most romantic day of the year! 

You see my Rhodesian Ridgeback – Mastiff cross, Duke, is becoming quite the pillow-pumper, enthusiastically collecting all of my expensive velvet scatter cushions and scattering something warm and sticky of his own all over them after a bout of heavy panting.

I’ve heard of puppy’s mounting other dogs faces or even humping teddy bears when they get a little too frisky – but scatter cushions!? The majority of my soft furnishings are now at risk of being jizzed and it leaves me with little choice other than to give him the snip.

Vets say castration is a sensible and loving thing to do to help your dog to lead a healthy happy life – although I’m not sure my boyfriend is as sympathetic to the concept as I am.

Castration proudly boasts the reduction in canine prostate cancer, reduces marking and spraying, stabilises the dogs mood and reduces the urge to mate and most importantly the need to stickyify expensive scatter cushions! 

Contrary to popular belief, having the snip does not cause a dog to gain weight nor stop growing, so I’m all for having my Dukey de-balled. Yet it seems that my boyfriend, Freddy, has a direct psychic connection to our fur-baby’s genitals and is already having sympathy pains on his behalf – before he’s had anything done!

I’ve reassured Freddy that neutering our puppy will have absolutely no negative effect on his life and will indeed make our sofa snuggles and cosy nights in far more fresh and inviting going forward – let’s face it, nobody enjoys laying in cold jizz. 

But for the time being he’s sitting on the fence on this one, crossing his legs protectively and trying to buy more time for his furry friend before the big day inevitably comes. 

Freddy says: “Let him grow a little bigger, have some fun while he’s still young and sow his wild oats!”

That’s all very well and good, but sticky porridge oats are an absolute b*tch to clean up! 


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