New Year New Butt


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Happy New Year! What a creeper 2019 was, popping up out of nowhere just like that and now we’re balls deep in another 365. I’ve always started every new year with determination and drive, setting myself goals – not always keeping them – but having purpose, focus and dreams nonetheless.

However this year has been a little different as I had BBL buttock implant surgery at Christmas and I’m half way through my six week recovery so everything is still up in the air, my routine shattered and I feel more like a helpless flopping fish on a hot pavement rather than a roaring lioness taking the world by the short and curlies this January. 

I find peace, strength and escapism in fitness which is why I’m finding it so hard not to workout daily – the gym is my retreat and space to blow off steam but I have to take six weeks out to avoid damaging myself after surgery. Whilst my final results will leave me looking like Jessica Rabbit with a jaw-dropping hourglass silhouette, I feel more like a frumpy womble right now bandaged and buckled up in my surgical compression garments. I’m unable to shave below the knee because I cannot bend or stretch that far and having to replace my usual skimpy skin-tight attire with baggy jumpers and pyjamas to allow my body to heal makes me look and feel like a blimp.

I’ve gone from minx to wild-sphinx in less than sixty seconds and I’m so far out of my comfort zone I can’t even see the start line anymore. I can’t sit down for six weeks until my buttocks have settled and the muscles have relaxed into position, as well as the fat grafting taking hold and remaining where it should be. So it’s a whole lot of laying on my stomach right now, face planting the sofa and trying not to roll over in my sleep – literally if there were auditions for humans to replace dolphins at the zoo then I’d totally ace them! 

But whilst I’m feeling out of kilter, I have to say my boyfriend has been absolutely amazing. You know how we usually try to impress our partners? Wear our best clothes, put on some nice perfume and at least maintain our public hair… Well it’s safe to say that Freddy has seen me at my absolute worst and somehow he’s still stuck around! He fetches me water, cooks the dinner, plays with the children, walks the dog and plumps my pillows as I continue to be a helplessly hairy wild animal. What a keeper! And all the more reason to bring my sexy back to reward him once I’m recovered! 

So I keep reminding myself that each day that passes is one step closer to being back to business. One step closer to looking and feeling good, being full of energy again and loving life as I always have done. And whilst you may not have had buttock surgery like me this year, I think we’re all in a pretty similar situation right now freaking out as we enter the new year with so many targets and expectations set upon us.

Let’s take it all one step at a time, getting back to work, losing weight and making progress in life. One day I’ll be able to shave my legs again and you’ll get that promotion too. Together we’ll keep taking little steps, onwards and upwards because it’s the easiest way to achieve all of your goals – and it’s far easier than giant leaps and lunges for wombles with big booty’s!


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