Self love this Valentine’s


Valentine’s day is just around the corner, what does it mean to you? Is it an excuse to get dressed up (or down) and plan a little romance or is it a Hallmark holiday designed to make card and chocolate companies richer?

Saint Valentine, who the day is named for, is famed for being the patron saint of courtly love, of romance and adoration but even he has been shrouded in folklore and controversy. Throughout the 20th and 21st centuries people have flocked to stores and made homemade gifts to celebrate their love for another person, however, surely we should be spreading that love on a daily basis and not waiting for the one day of the year where we are told we have to?

What even is romance? Is it wine and roses? Sexy lingerie? Or maybe a sharp flogging if that is your thing. Romance is different for everyone so don’t feel you have to get caught up in the social media onslaught to show off how much your significant other loves you when in reality you would rather spend the time with a third or fourth person joining you in bed. Not everyone has to have a cardboard cut out coupling, the standard sensuality or a lacklustre love affaire.

This valentines day, be true to who you are, be honest with yourself and your other half. Open up about your kinks and fantasies, even if those fantasies are more likely to involve an early night than a set of stocks, but especially if the stocks are involved. Make this not just a day about loving someone but for loving yourself too. Now, self love can mean some alone time with a rampant rabbit or just being open to new experiences. Whatever works for you.

Me? I plan to be at a very special gathering where inhibitions will be shed along with the clothing and where I, and my lady friend are guaranteed that it won’t be a card and flowers that put a smile on our faces.

This will be followed by a Glitz and Glamour Valentines party at Eureka in Kent on Saturday 16th. These guys always throw a spectacular party with a great venue and welcoming hosts. If you don’t have any plans then come down and join me. Don’t be shy, I won’t bite…well, only if you want me to. This is a great night for experienced swingers and those who just want to dip their toe (or any other body part) into the lifestyle.

Happy Valentines

Surgery is open, how can I help you?

Dear Dr

I have been interested in chastity for a while but don’t know how to bring the subject up to my wife. How can I explain it without freaking her out?


Hi Kev

So it is something you have thought of for a while I assume, it’s great that you are now taking the bull by the horns and are ready to tell your wife. Being totally open and honest is always the best way forward and this will depend on how well you are both able to communicate about sex and fantasies. Locked in Lust have a great service where they will send out a prewritten letter which you can give your wife, it is a great tool to help start that initial conversation. It won’t end there of course, no doubt she will have questions and will need assurances and guidance. Another great tool is the Chastity Mansion platform where there are forums and information which will assist you all in your chastity exploration. Explain to her what it is that you get out of chastity or hope to get out of it and especially how it will benefit her.

Make sure to get your club and party reviews coming in, tell the world which are the best and worst swinging and BDSM venues that you have attended. Maybe you have found a hidden gem or have been disappointed by a well-known location, either way, tell the rest of the community.

Until next time, keep those questions coming and stay decadent


Social Media:

Twitter @decadence_dr

Insta @dandecadence

Facebook @decadenceparties


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here